Is the Ghost of Teddy Roosevelt Haunting a Starbucks on Delancey Street?
By Tanner Vos
According to barista Ernie Fitzwilliam, the spectral form of our nation’s 25th president has a taste for the java, and has chosen to spend his afterlife inside a Starbucks on Delancey Street.
“He likes to show up at night, when I’m shutting down the store,” Fitzwilliam explains. “He stands outside the bathroom, like he’s waiting for someone to finish in there. But the bathroom is empty.”
Fitzwilliam first caught sight of the former president, NY governor, and “trust-buster” about two weeks ago. “It startled me at first. Now, I’ve gotten used to his presence. It was the mustache and glasses that helped me figure out who he was. I remembered them from school.” The barista says he watched a couple YouTube videos to refresh himself on Roosevelt’s story. “I imagine he’d be a bold roast kind of guy. He was into riding horses and stuff. He’d want a cup of coffee so strong it’s like a punch in the balls.”
Other Starbucks employees are less convinced about the presidential visitations. “He’s insane,” said one of Fitzwilliams’ coworkers, who asked not to be named in this piece. “Nobody else has seen Teddy Roosevelt in this store. I think Ernie is just saying that to get attention. What he SHOULD be doing is focusing more on his work. He’s a bad employee. I don’t even care if you print that part. I hate that guy.”
As to the question of why T.R. picked that particular Starbucks to haunt, Fitzwilliam suggests it is a matter of heritage. “He was born near here, so he’s probably checking out all his favorite spots.” For the record, Roosevelt was born in the Flatiron District, and the global coffee chain has many locations closer to his birthplace than the Lower East Side.
Until others can confirm the sightings, one may be inclined to take the barista’s claims with a grain of salt. Then again, in this second American Gilded Age, perhaps we need Roosevelt’s talents more than ever, even if his help comes between sips of a pumpkin spice latte.
