True Love (with a Side of Onion Rings)
By Daisy Scott
Can an air fryer be alive? According to Canarsie resident Ponce de Leon Johnson, the answer is YES. Johnson, an HVAC technician who moonlights as an amateur rap artist, claims that his 4-quart Black+Decker air fryer is not only conscious, but that he and the kitchen appliance have fallen in love.
Johnson, 34, first made the claim last month on social media. His musings about the device, and his peculiar attachment to it, quickly went viral throughout New York City. "At first she was acting all normal," Johnson explains, referring to his air fryer, "just cooking my curly fries and whatnot. Then I started noticing the secret messages. She was trying to communicate with me."
The unusual relationship has created tensions in Johnson's household. "It’s ridiculous," says Roberta Johnson, Ponce de Leon's wife. "I kept telling him, it's just a normal air fryer. He calls it a "she!" He complains that I don't listen to him enough, but "she" does."
This reporter was allowed to investigate the device and observe as it reheated some leftovers from Olive Garden. Johnson forbade me from unplugging the air fryer or turning it off, insisting these acts would be tantamount to "killing her." No unusual behavior was observed. "She doesn't trust strangers," he said.
At one point, Johnson placed a mirror in front of the air fryer and claimed it was responding to its own reflection. "She likes to keep herself looking good for me," he explained. "The mirror test," an experiment performed by biologists, is believed to demonstrate conscious awareness of the self in higher-functioning animals, including certain apes, birds, and marine mammals.
Despite receiving mockery on the internet from "haters," Johnson has no plans of abandoning his new love interest. "This is the real deal, know what I’m saying? I'm in this for the long haul. We're gonna build a beautiful life together." It's currently unclear how Johnson's current wife, or three kids, will factor into his future with the air fryer. "That depends on them," he says.
The air fryer has also become an unlikely muse for Johnson's side hustle as a rapper. He says he's working on an entire album of tracks, inspired by his affection for the Black+Decker appliance. "I've never experienced true love like this. It's powerful. It shook me to my core. I'm writing lyrics so good that nobody's ever seen anything like this before."
The saga of Ponce de Leon Johnson and his air fryer is a poignant example of the evolving relationship between man and machine. As technology grows smarter, and continues to alienate humans from each other, who is to say what the future may hold?
